by Susan Szollosi
“Hi, I’m Heidi” she said, extending her hand.
“Nice to meet you. I’m Susan, and this is my husband Alex. I hope you don’t mind that I brought him.” Alex waddled in like a windshield wiper with his bad hip, hands tucked into his jeans’ front pockets, and rolling his eyes as I glanced back to make sure he was still behind me.
“No, not at all, come in.”
We found out that Heidi is a chiropractor by trade who practiced for 20 years in California. She didn’t yet have her Colorado license so was currently focusing more on wellness and nutrition. She offered the cleanse special on Living Social as an opportunity to build her business.
After asking us questions about how we were feeling, she did some muscle testing on me. Alex sat there skeptical, as Heidi had me hold individual small closed bottles of various supplements in my right hand, while pushing my left arm downward to test my muscle strength. I ended up with a need to improve my thyroid and my adrenals. It didn’t surprise me. What did surprise me was that she didn’t send me home with a whole pharmacy, the way I was feeling. I was nursing an excruciating sciatic nerve condition at the time. I respected the fact that although she sold supplements, she wasn’t pushing any of them on us.
The cleanse comes from a website called www.standardprocess.com You can follow the complete program when you go there. ***But I will take you on the journey with me, soon enough. I’ll be with you all the way so you won’t feel alone, especially if you’re doing this by yourself.
Heidi had some pages printed out about the cleanse and started explaining how it works. It looked like there were quite a few things allowed on it. Enough to hold my interest.
Speaking of holding interest, it had been at least two minutes since I’d checked on Alex. It was imperative to sit within arm’s reach of him at all times. He falls asleep everywhere we go. I don’t mind him dozing off every time we’re in the movie theater, but his snoring always leaves me to deal with the dirty looks and shushes from the angry viewers.
I even tried putting him in the front row at church for a while, but that ended on a bad note when I nudged him and he woke up disoriented and shouted, “Don’t wake me up!”
And then there was the time he was balanced upright on a high stool at a Hanukkah party. It was during the highlight of the evening. The room was dead silent with everyone completely engaged with the storyteller. Unfortunately, I was engaged too. I had taken my eyes off Alex and didn’t realize he had fallen asleep on the stool. The next thing I heard was a loud yelp. I looked over just in time to see his arms come uncrossed, flailing, trying to catch himself before hitting the wood floor, upstaging Jesus’s big scene in the story of Hanukkah. It was like watching a generous pinata trying to avoid the winning blow at a child’s birthday party. I remember edging my way toward the bottles of wine, trying not to make eye contact for fear someone might realize we were together. Yes, many times had proven that if his lips weren’t moving, there was a good chance trouble was lurking around the corner.
I could see his eyelids becoming heavy. I had to work fast. “Alex, this cleanse looks great, doesn’t it?” I hoped he wouldn’t ask, “What cleanse?”
I gave him my special look. The look I hope no one other than him sees. It’s the look that would make people think I’m related to Charles Manson.
I turned back to Heidi. “Well, Heidi, this looks exciting. We can’t wait to start it.”
“Great! But we’ll have to order a bottle for Alex if you’re both going to do it. This is my last one. It’ll take about a week”, she said.
After twenty-five years, I could read Alex’s every thought… Good, another week… can we go now? Then, as if raised from the dead his lips started moving, shattering the molecules around him. “No problem, I’m sure waiting a couple more weeks won’t matter.”
“Really, it shouldn’t take more than a week. Actually, you could both start right away and just share this bottle until your bottle comes in”, she said, looking directly at Alex.
The look on his face told me I’d better step in. “That’s a great idea, Heidi, but I think we’ll take this week to read everything and get the house set up with the right foods and all.”
“I completely understand. I’ll give you a call when it comes in.”
“Thanks so much, Heidi.” I stood up and we hugged. “It was great meeting you and we’re really excited about this.”
She gave Alex a hug too. We waved our goodbyes as she closed the door. This cleanse was going to be a wonderful experience for us. We looked deeply into each others’ eyes. I could tell we were finally about to bond.
“Can we go to Pasta Jay’s now?
“I was hoping you’d say that”, I answered.
* * *
Included in the $45, came a bottle of capsules for the cleanse, and about an hour’s consultation. I was to take 4 capsules in the morning, and 3 in the evening about 30 minutes before eating, for 21 days.
The extra bottle we ordered for Alex was about $14 and that would get him through the 21 days too. His bottle did end up coming in a week later, and by the time I drove back into Boulder to get it, and prepared the house for what felt like the arrival of a new baby, it was 9 days after the appointment that we officially started the cleanse.
It worked out perfectly because it gave us time to get our last hurrah’s out of the way and to read the material, clean out the pantry, fridge and freezer, and stock up with foods that were completely foreign to me.
OH…and since we knew that protein shakes would become an important part of our new health plan, I did some research on blenders. Obviously, you can use what you already have if it’s capable of grinding up hard veggies, frozen fruits, and ice, but after extensive research between the Vita-Mix and Blendtec, we decided to visit a Costco for the Blendtec demo and it did not disappoint. Definitely pricey at $349, but comes with an 8-year warranty, and is used in the commercial smoothie shops. It makes ice cream, warm soup, juices, smoothies, cookie doughs, and more. It also knows exactly how long to process your request after you make your selection. It then automatically shuts off when your food or drink is ready. It very well might be the best thing we’ve ever bought for ourselves.
So, when you are ready, we can go on the journey together in PART 3 – Confessions of a Junk Food Junkie – The 21 Day Cleanse.